I was recently reading when I came across a quote that struck me. This is what it said, "It is very important to transcend the places that hold us...." I stopped. Just like that, I stopped reading and I began to think to myself, what has been holding me? The answer - many things and the bottom line was myself.
Here I am someone that speaks often about self compassion, listening to your inner voice, taking care of yourself, and on and on and I am reading a book about what is holding me and I had a long list. On that list the thing that was the root of all of them was myself. My thoughts. My perspective. The lens I was choosing to view the world through.
I can be immensely hard on myself. Over the top where I hold onto things for a long long time. I am constantly working towards letting go and this time I realized I had many things I was currently holding onto and therefore things that were holding me. In many ways I was stuck.
I was being held by past mistakes that I was replaying over and over in my head. I was stuck on things I had done that I would like to do differently. I was stuck on how I was imperfect. I was stuck with the way I was viewing myself - which was as a failure and a mess up rather than a person that is learning and growing and can move forward from there. I was forgetting to look around and be. To notice the blue sky in an authentic way rather than trying to force myself into mindful living. I was holding onto so much that "bad" things kept happening in my life to show me it's time to let go. Move on. Fly.
So, how do I do that? How do I go from a holding pattern to letting go and learning? I have written about this a time or two I'm sure and I will still choose to write about it now and share it with the world. Reminders can be lovely. The timing of when things show up in our lives are meaningful in my belief.
Here are some of the tools I use - some great things to build into my days. Time for a calendar overhaul.
1. Read :: When I read empowering, motivating, or encouraging works I begin to feel those thing and bring them into my life. As Dr. Suess said, "The more we read the more we know, the more we know the more places we go."
2. Sweat :: Exercising and doing repetitive motion like biking, hiking, or running is a great way for me to work through some things in my mind and with the movement and grounding of my body I am able to physically release which helps me emotionally release. When we move we keep our energy moving so we are better able to let things go!
3. Friends :: My friends are my friends for a reason. I get something from all of them and I hope I give something to each of them. There are certain friends I can call that can snap me back and hand me a new pair of lenses to view the world. I feel eternally grateful to have those people in my life. Thank you.
4. Write :: Journaling is my friend, my friend is my journal, when I journal I treat myself more like a friend. I can write something down and see how critical I am and then counter it in a loving and encouraging voice - my true self, and it brings me to place of self-acceptance.
5. Create space :: In my house, in my car, in my closet, in my days, in my body, in my mind <3
What are some of the things you are holding? Past relationships? Relationships that are past their expiration date? The things your boss told you? The insecurity you felt during a networking event? The doubt you feel as you compare yourself to others? The need for control?
My hope is that this finds the right person at the right time.
Life is like surfing. Riding the waves, sometimes crashing down. Sometimes the bigger the waves the bigger the fall. Will you focus on the fact that you got up and rode a wave for a stint or that you crashed hard on one of them? Will you hold yourself and remind yourself how bad you are and how stupid for choosing that wave to ride or will you look ahead to the other waves rolling in and choose a new one to try to ride with love and determination?
May you notice the waves all around you and continue to learn the rhythm and pattern, knowing your strengths and limitations, and choosing to continue to try to get up on the waves and ride them. May you notice those around you doing their best and perhaps be attracted to those that are enjoying their lives...and feel the joy inside of YOU.